I refuse to participate in “slut shaming”, but I do want to talk about the “you” that you choose to present to the world. People will make snap judgments about who they think you are as a person based on their initial impression of you. It isn’t fair and, often, they will be wrong. They are never allowed to act on those assumptions – I don’t care what you are wearing or how you are acting, but be aware of the impression you may be giving.
- Though you will get a lot of attention if you dress sexy, it may not always be the kind of attention you want (think cat calls and hoots and hollers). If you flash lots of cleavage, people will look at your boobs. If this is your goal fabulous, if not maybe rethink the outfit.
- If you are under age, you will need to negotiate your wardrobe choices with your parents in one way or another. Whether they buy your clothes and will only buy you clothes of which they approve or simply have the “not under my roof” approach to your fashion, it does not matter – they will have to be a consideration in how you dress. Negotiation often gets you further than out and out rebellion.
- There will always be people who will make assumptions about you based on how you dress. You do not have to change your style based on winning their approval, just know others will make judgments about who you are as a person. Screw them if they are wrong, but it may end up making your life more difficult in the interim.
- Own your personal style. A client once told me her style was “slutty chic”. Cool. Don’t feel you have to justify who you are to the world. Know what you are putting out there, own it and let them figure out how to deal with it.
- No one is allowed to act on the assumptions they make about you based on your style. I don’t care how sexy you dress, no one has any right to touch you or to talk to you inappropriately. They can never justify their bad behavior on how you dress. Never.