One Size Never Fits All

 I’ve always been reluctant to believe labels that state “one size      fits all” because, we all know, it is total crap. It isn’t even true to  say “one size fits most” – maybe most can get the item on their  body, but it will not be comfortable or pretty. There was a post  recently on BuzzFeed  (http://www.buzzfeed.com/candacelowry/heres-what-one-size-fits-all-looks-like-on-all#.bx3kq3XO2) where they examined this concept. They had women of all shapes and sizes try on clothing sold as one size fits all and you can probably guess the results. Check out the post – it is nice to have confirmation.

Unfortunately, it is not just clothing that is sold as one size fits all. Oftentimes, it is how we live our lives, too. Not all paths are appropriate for all people, but we tend to look at people as strange if they deviate from the expected course. There is an expectation people will graduate from high school, go to college or into a vocation, get married to someone of the opposite sex and proceed to have 2.5 kids. If any step is challenged, there is a problem. Let me give you an example – I have an older sister who has been married about 25 years. She and her husband decided early on they didn’t want to have children. I don’t know why (it really wasn’t my business), but they were clear about their choices and stuck to them. Near as I can tell, they have had a fantastic relationship and have never wavered in their decision. Here is the thing, whenever I talk about my family with someone new, I am often asked if there is “something wrong” with my sister because she doesn’t have kids. I think there is an assumption there must be a medical reason they didn’t have children – some form of infertility. When I explain they just didn’t want kids, many get a strange look on their faces like she is somehow damaged. Nope. Her choices just differ from what might be expected.

We also tend to apply a one size fits all approach to our relationships. We have an idea of how things should work and then are stunned when it might not work. Have you ever had a friend go through a break-up? You probably had an idea what you could do to help them, right? You offer to hang out – watch a movie or hit a bar, you talk about how their ex didn’t deserve them anyway and how they are going to be so much better off, the usual stuff. This may not work for everyone though. Some may be angry about the breakup. Others might be sad. A few might even be relieved.

There is no one size fits all in life. We need to take most things on a case-by-case basis. Find what fits for you (or your friend or family member). It would be an incredibly dull world if we all truly fit into one size for everything. Let’s celebrate what causes us to be different from one another and what makes us unique.

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