Many of you have heard about the recent news surrounding the Duggar family – the family best known for being extremely fertile and extremely religious on the TLC reality series “19 Kids and Counting”. If you haven’t heard (or you’ve been locked in a basement somewhere with no internet access), the eldest son, Josh, was recently revealed to have molested a number of young girls (some of whom were his sisters) when he was a teenager. For more information on the nitty-gritty please read here: http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/21/us/josh-duggar-child-molestation-allegations/index.html.
Now there are those that will defend Josh and his parents in the way they managed “the situation” (otherwise known as molesting innocent children) and there are those (hopefully many more) who would like to tie them to the stake and plan a fricassee. You can kinda get which way I am leaning here, right? Well, I am the mom of a young girl, so I am most definitely biased. That is not the focus of this blog though – there are plenty of these types out there.
I want to focus on how sad it is in this day and age, we continue to hide sexual abuse and “protect” the perpetrator. I can, somewhat, understand Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar wanting to protect their child, but what about their daughters – hell what about everyone else’s daughters? As near as I can tell, Josh never had intensive psychological intervention to address his inappropriate sexual behaviors. Supposedly, psychological treatment was “made available” to his victims, but I am a wee bit doubtful. Am I the only one who finds it unlikely that this treatment was anything more than religious teachings on the importance of forgiveness? I do not see this family taking their kids into the local mental health center to address their trauma.
Sexual abuse should not be shameful for the victims (though I typically prefer to call them “survivors”). Our focus should never be on taking care of the perpetrator, rather making sure the survivors of his deviance develop the skills necessary to lead healthy and happy lives. I am not choosing this revelation about the Duggar family to condemn them for their religious beliefs, their political views or their ideas on family planning. I typically strongly disagree with all of these, but rather I am using this new information as an opportunity to remind us all we need to focus on those who are hurt rather than on those who hurt. We need to focus on the innocents who are harmed. Josh Duggar should not have been protected. He should have been turned over to the authorities to pay whatever consequence legally necessary for his crimes. This should happen every time – no matter who, what, when, where or why. This family failed it’s daughters- and in turn, failed all of ours as well.